I had been overweight for most of my life and finally decided enough was enough and that I wanted to change. In 2010 I joined a weight loss group which offered guidance on healthy food choices and portion sizes. For the first time in my adult life I was within the healthy BMI for my height, losing 35kg. My journey was well received at my support group and I was very proud of my efforts.
Thinking I no longer needed the group’s support or guidance I went off and did my own thing and maintained my goal weight for the next few years. In 2014 I fell pregnant with my second child. The first trimester I was very unwell and turned to food in an effort to feel better. At approximately 12 weeks I miscarried and was understandably devastated. Again I turned to food. I fell pregnant a second time, very quickly, but continued on my path of sickness and emotional eating. I was blessed to have my son in March 2015 but by this time I had put on an additional 60kg, not including the actual baby weight or fluids.
It was not until my son was born that I realised how badly I had let myself go- no longer able to hide behind a pregnant belly I had to acknowledge how unhealthy I had become. I was 140kg and miserable- people didn’t even recognise me as I looked like a completely different person. I didn’t want to go places because I was ashamed that after all my hard work to lose the weight the first time I was now much bigger than before. I desperately wanted to reinstall my healthy habits but I was so nervous to return to my weight loss group as in my mind, I was a terrible failure and I was certain that they would judge me.
It took all my courage to return. I walked in, eyes down, and secretly hoped that I wouldn’t know anyone there- but I did… and they were happy to see me, they didn’t mention my size- they gushed over my son. I felt like such a fool as I was so warmly welcomed back, but in my mind (and it was only in my mind), walking in that door again was one of the hardest things to do. But I am so glad that I did as it was a much needed turning point in my life and I have lost over 40 of that 60 kg to date.
So for me, my courageous moment was picking myself up again after what felt like failure-it was walking through that door. My life wasn’t in danger, I wasn’t swimming with sharks- To an outsider it may have not looked significant but in my mind it was one of the most challenging things I have done.
Have you got a story of courage that you’d like to share with us? Sharing stories is courageous in itself. It also gives others inspiration. We’d love to hear from you! Courage My Love